Different Problems

Physical changes (and problems?)

The process of rapid physical changes in adolescence is called “puberty”. It starts from eleven years for girls and thirteen for boys. Girls start changes before boys and will, for the first three or four years, appear to be maturing much faster. After this, boys catch up. These changes include:

- For girls: menstrual periods, growth of extremities, growth of body and pubic hair.

- For boys: voice breaks (becomes deeper), growth of body and pubic hair, facial hair.

- For both: Rapid physical growth.

By the age of 17, they'll be young men and women who may be bigger than their parents and capable of having children themselves. In spite of this, they often still need support from you.

Some adolescents become very interested in their appearance. They may need a lot of reassurance, especially if they are not growing or maturing as quickly as their friends.

Growth and development uses a lot of energy, and this may be why teenagers often seem to need so much sleep. Their getting-up late may be irritating, but it may well not be just laziness.

Behaviour Problems

- Teenagers and their parents complain about each other's behaviour. Parents often feel they have lost control or influence over their child. Adolescents want their parents to be clear and consistent about rules and boundaries, but at the same they hate restrictions on their freedom and ability to decide for themselves.

- If disagreements are common and normal, when should you worry? Experience suggests that children are at risk of getting into trouble if their parents don't know where they are.

- Arguments or misunderstandings at home about dress, language, or general conduct are common. In many cases, offering your support and understanding without making a fuss will be all your child needs at this time. However, if you feel that your child is outside your control and may be endangering his or her health or risking conflict with the law, consult your doctor, who may be able to give advice or recommend relevant support services. If not, try talking to him; you may get the answer in this way.

School Problems

- Refusal to go to school can be due to:

- being perfectionist, and becoming depressed because they can't do as well as they would want to

- disturbed family life, with early separation of the parents or death of one of them.

- an established pattern which started at primary school. Such children often have physical symptoms, such as headache or stomach-ache.

- Those who go to school, but then play “truant”¹, are usually frustrated at school. They prefer to spend their days with others who feel the same way.

- Emotional problems affect school work - worry about oneself, or about what is going on at home, makes it difficult to concentrate. Pressure to do well and to pass exams may come from parents or teachers, but adolescents usually want to do well and will push themselves. Excessive preassure can be counter-productive. Exams are important, but they should not dominate life or cause unhappiness.

- Bullying can cause all of the above. Around 1 in 10 secondary school children is bullied at some point, about 1 in 20 is bullied every week. Short children are more likely to be bullied.

Trouble with the law

- Most young people do not break the law, but those who do are usually boys. When they do, it usually only happens once.

- If a parent doesn't feel that breaking the law is particularly important, it is more likely that their children will offend.

- Some characteristics of adolescents who break the law are:

- Difficulty following rules or complying with a structured environment,

- Difficulty to consider others’ feelings when making decisions,

- Trouble forming relationships with authoritative figures

- Exceptionally poor academic performance

- Low self-esteem

- Unhappiness or distress can also lead to behaviour that will get them into trouble with the police. It is always worth asking about such feelings if an adolescent is repeatedly getting into trouble.

Emotional Problems

- Over-eating, excessive sleepiness and a persistent over-concern with appearance may be signs of emotional distress (unhappiness).

- Anxiety may produce phobias and panic attacks.

- Recent research suggests that emotional disorders are often not recognised, even by family and friends.

DEPRESSION:

- At some time, 4 out of 10 adolescents have felt so miserable that they have cried and have wanted to get away from everyone and everything.

- During their adolescence, more than 1 in 5 teenagers think so little of themselves that life does not seem worth living. In spite of these powerful feelings, depression may not be obvious to other people.